Not Enough Peek-A-Boo

Here I am in Washington, DC at the NAEYC annual conference with 10,000 other early childhood professionals learning ways to best imagine, innovate and inspire our young learners.  This type of environment-- where we share best practices with teachers, researchers, social workers, and professors-- is exhilarating.  

The first session I attended this morning was called "Not Enough Peek-A-Boo: Cultivating Eye Contact, Human Touch and Playful Interaction in a Touch-Screen World."  Among almost 100 choices, the title of this session was a flashing neon light in my conference program. The presenter (from Conscious Discipline) explained that varied experiences and personal interactions affect the physical structure of the brain.  Over-exposure to technology, which equates to limited personal interactions, is traumatic to a young child's developing brain.

She shared a video of the "Still Face" experiment conducted at Harvard.  Please take 2 minutes to watch it.

Babies have no emotional filter; what you see is what you get.  When a baby is happy, she giggles, smiles, and coos.  When she is unhappy, she shows it by fussing, arching her back and shrieking.  Babies have not yet developed the ability to mask their feelings and we can learn so much from them.

This broke my heart because the truth is I am afraid that, as a mom, I give my own children the "Still Face" more than 2 minutes per day.  The truth is, after teaching and being present for 10 children for 4+ hours each day at preschool, I "check out" and check my email, catch up on Facebook, and play on my phone for a while each afternoon. I cringe to think how many times I have said, "Not right now," or "In a few minutes" to my own children when they are trying to interact with me.  How many times have I chosen my screen time over my children?  How often do I stop what I am doing with them to answer the phone or respond to a text?  What message am I sending them about the value of our time together?  (Please tell me I am not the only one who does this.  I'm feeling guilty and self-conscious as I type these confessions.)

As a teacher, I have noticed a significant steady decline over the past 8 years in my students' willingness to make eye-contact and to talk to others.  In the last 3-4 years their hand strength, fine motor control and ability to write and color have taken a nosedive.  It concerns me that the abundance of electronics-- DVDs in the car, iPhone apps while riding in the grocery cart, iPads for waiting rooms, LeapPads, Kindles, gameboys, and on and on and on-- have replaced singing, small talk, coloring, imagination, and play.  It feels like, as parents, we exert considerable effort to pacify our children and it has shocking effects in the classroom.  

The good news is that children are resilient and that we can make changes that will reinstate the face-to-face interactions that are essential to their healthy brain development.  Simple, brief, intense interactions will increase our bonds.  These interactions involve touching, making eye-contact, being present and being playful.  It could be something as simple as tickling our young daughters' toes while singing "This little piggy" or giving our sons a "high five" and a "Well Done!" 

I am making a pact with myself that I will make a conscious effort to put my phone and computer away each afternoon for quality, uninterrupted interaction with my own children.  I am sure that I can answer email for an hour first thing in the morning, and finish the rest of my work at night after they go to bed.  The world will not stop turning if I don't respond to a message within 5 minutes.  My children will behave better and be happier if they don't have to compete with my phone for attention.

What do you think?  Does it seem like children's play and interactions have really changed since the advent of tablets and smartphones?  What are some of the effects of technology you have noticed?  How do you manage screen time at your house?  Is anyone willing to make a No Phone pact with me in the afternoons when our children get home from school?!  

Let's all enjoying playing (and learning) with our children with no phones in sight.